One of the biggest pieces of Star Wars news coming from D23 — this past weekend — was the official announcement that both Disneyland (California) and Disneyworld (Florida) would be featuring an all new expansion to the their theme parks, called Star Wars Land. The announcement came with the details that the expansion would be 14 acres, and that one ride would center around a secret mission aboard the Millennium Falcon, as well as a battle scenario between the First Order and the Resistance. With that in mind, Dork Side of the Force has thought of other potential Star Wars themed rides or experiences, that could be a part of Disney’s new Star Wars Land.
First up, no self-respecting Star Wars theme park could expect to be taken seriously, without the inclusion of the Jedi and the Sith. The use of the Force has been prevalent in every Star Wars film since the Original Trilogy, and of course just about every single other medium having to do with Star Wars, in the past 30 years. So how could Star Wars Land capitalize on the Force?
Jedi vs Sith
How about an experience where park visitors could choose a side of the Force — the Dark Side or the Light — in a three dimensional battle complete with black robes, red lightsabers and Force lightning for the Dark Side, and brown robes, blue/green lightsabers and Force pushes for the Light Side. Before you disregard this idea as nearly impossible, consider this: ILM (Industrial Light and Magic), the visual effects studio behind all the special effects in the Star Wars saga, has begun work on an immersive virtual reality Star Wars experience with their brand new ILMxLAB.
With technology like this on the horizon, the sky’s the limit with what they can do. Sign me up for Team Sith!
Next: Speaking of using the Force...
Lightsaber Training with Obi-Wan
Remember in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, when Luke is first handed his father’s lightsaber? Remember that feeling of awe at seeing a laser sword? I do. As a kid, watching the Original Trilogy for the first time, It was part of what made Star Wars so amazing to me. Now imagine going to Star Wars Land, and queuing up for your chance to be trained with an elegant of weapon, made for a more civilized age — your very own lightsaber.
The experience could improve on an already popular Disney idea: Build your own Lightsaber, with an option for a more adult friendly version where the lightsaber could be made of metal instead of plastic. Then, once your saber is constructed, complete with a specially chosen Kybur Crystal (color of the saber’s blade), you would train with a floating sphere shooting imaginary laser at your face, while you try to block said lasers with your brand-spanking-new lightsaber!
Next: Podracing
Podracing with Sebulba
Love them or hate them, the Sequel Trilogy introduced us to more than one cool Star Wars concept. In particular, in Episode I: The Phantom Menace, we were gifted with the favored sport of Hutts everywhere, Podracing. How cool would it be to climb aboard an actual Pod Racer? Well, not an actual one, but more like a bumper car or go-cart retrofitted to look like the Pod Racers from Episode I.
This could be another ILM type experience, where park visitors get to race — on a grand scale — legendary racers like Sebulba or even the Chosen One himself, young Anakin Skywalker. Although I would rather see this as an actual ride, I’m not sure how Disney’s insurance company would feel about the friendly fender-benders that are surely to take place.
Next: Destroy the Death Star
Is there a more exhilarating scene in A New Hope, than the famous trench run by Luke, to destroy the original Death Star? Imagine sitting in a simulator that places you in the cockpit of a Rebel Alliance X-Wing, and it’s up to you to destroy the Empire’s world-killer, the Death Star. This ride or experience could be enjoyed from either side in the Battle of Yavin. As a member of Rogue Squadron, you must pilot your X-Wing through all the turret fire and TIE Fighters to get the perfectly timed shot that destroys the Death Star — or — become a pilot in Lord Vader’s elite TIE Fighter squadron as you try and stop the Rebel Alliance from firing those fateful torpedos.
I can see this as being a “Space Mountain” type of ride, or as an immersive 3D ILM type of experience. Ride as Luke and listen to Obi-Wan’s disembodied voice tell you to use the Force, tell your friends to stay on target, and gloat as Darth Vader’s personal TIE spins out of control through the vast emptiness of space.
Next: Visit the Jedi Temple
The Jedi Temple Interactive Complex
Is there anything more awe-inspiring than the Jedi Temple on Coruscant? This could be a beautiful destination attraction at Star Wars Land. Inside the Temple (which would need to be a massive building with multiple floors, at Star Wars Land) would be several restaurants where visitors could dine like Jedi, shops where lightsabers could be built and Jedi Robes could be purchased, an interactive archive where the history of the Jedi could be learned.
The ideas for a completely interactive Jedi Temple complex, are quite literally endless. There’s also the possibility for a defense of the Temple from the Sacking of Coruscant, or Anakin’s attack on the Temple during Revenge of the Sith…sign me up right now.
Next: Punt an Ewok, win a prize!
Ewok Punting
Ah yes, the Jar Jar Binks of the Original Trilogy even though they only appeared in Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks. What could be more fun than punting these furry little balls of chaos? This could be the Star Wars Land version of carnival games. Instead of the ring toss, park visitors can try for Star Wars toys and prizes by booting an Ewok through an upright for points! This could be fun for the adults who actually grew up despising these vicious little teddy bears who wield with sharp pointy sticks and have amazing aim with slingshots.
This experience could have an interchangeable option, where the children can build an Ewok of their very own, like the Build-a-Bear workshop. I’m sure the emotional scarring of smaller children, after watching their parents and older siblings kick a cute little furball, might not be conducive to the healthy family experience that Disney tries to provide.
Next: And while you're on Endor...
Speeder Bike Chase
Imagine a ride with side by side speeder bikes, lined up in a row and attached to a rail that would take park visitors on a ride through the forest of Endor…at a high rate of speed, of course. The ride could be the very definition of “Thrill Ride” as the rail will carry riders right up to giant trees right before swerving to the side to avoid crashing.
This could even take on the aspects of a rollercoaster, as the rail could climb and dip at a rather fast pace. There’s the option of having both Rebel Alliance speeders and Empire speeders, with each bike featuring controls where riders can fire laser-tag like beams at targets along the ride’s route. There’s nothing quite like having to avoid crashing into trees and random foliage as you chase down your enemy.
Next: Battle AT-AT's on Hoth
Hoth
Join Luke and his fellow Rebel Alliance speeder pilots, as they try and bring down the gigantic AT-AT Walkers. This can be an interactive set, where park visitors can sit in the cockpit of a T-47 Snowspeeder as they maneuver through the many obstacles in their way to taking down an AT-AT. Again, this can be enjoyed from both sides of the Galactic War. Imagine you and your friends having to work together to pilot an AT-AT while you assault the Rebel base.
The Rebel base could be the hub of activity for this part of Star Wars Land, where visitors can ride an animatronic Tauntaun, or fight a Wampa with Luke’s lightsaber!
Next: Ludicrous Speed!
Hyperspace
Make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs, as you learn that said parsecs are measurements of distance and not time, or be the admiral of your very own Star Destroyer as you yell to your team “IT’S A TRAP!” The Hyperspace attraction can allow visitors to map-out their own Hyperspace lane and make the jump into the unknown.
This is actually not an original idea, as Hyperspace Mountain has been kicked around as the original ride at a Star Wars themed park. The idea would be to get on a giant roller coaster contained in a large building, and hang on for the ride of your life. I can actually see this happening.
Next: Become a Merc with Boba Fett
Mastering Mandalorian
Any Star Wars Land worth it’s name, would be incomplete without a Boba Fett attraction. Park visitors can travel to the farthest reaches of the Outer Rim, where Boba keeps his personal base. The attraction can offer unique options like a Sarlacc Pit climbing wall, Rocket Pack zip lines, and of course the Slave 1 simulator, where visitors can pilot the legendary bounty hunter’s famous ship.
This interactive experience can show how Boba’s father, Jango Fett, successfully fought-off a Jedi Master with his Mandalorian skills. Learn what it takes to be a Mandalorian, and create your own clan’s sigil. Visitors can have the option to mix and match their own Bounty Hunter armor. Robes and Lightsabers are one thing, but awesome helmets, jetpacks and EE-3 carbine rifles are another.