Neil deGrasse Tyson Fails to Grasp The Force Awakens
Once again, Neil deGrasse Tyson attempts to remain relevant by ridiculing Star Wars, and once again, he fails…
Neil deGrasse Tyson’s moment in the spotlight is quickly fading, and just like some sad reality television star who has realized they are no longer relevant in today’s pop-culture, he is trying to say just the right thing to get popular media to mention his name…one more time. Tweeting out his “promised” review of The Force Awakens (as if anyone really cared), Tyson delivered his banal and pedantic attempt at…scientific humor? I guess?
My promised observations of @StarWars Episode VII #TheForceAwakens follows (with only mild spoiler alerts).
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Again, why do we care? I guess we are reporting on it…so there’s that. Oh look, Tyson thinks Star Wars is about politics. Nice pandering you puffed-up blowfish.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, I’m reminded that Red & Blue teams cooperate with one another. Rare in American Politics.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
He turned his attention to BB-8. Neat.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, BB-8, a smooth rolling metal spherical ball, would have skidded uncontrollably on sand.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Ah, there it is. Let’s make BB-8’s rolling around all about science, because it just can’t be about movie magic, huh?
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens the TIE fighters made exactly the same sound in the vacuum of space as in planetary atmospheres
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Oh, TIE Fighters aren’t real, Tyson?
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, if you were to suck all of a star’s energy into your planet, your planet would vaporize.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
You mean a planetary weapon could never be real? Really, Neil? Nobody likes you Neil, nobody.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, the energy in a Star is enough to destroy ten-thousand planets, not just a few here & there.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Oh…more explanation about a fake planetary weapon, from a has-been blowhard.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, once again I felt isolated and inadequate for not understanding Wookiee-speak.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
No, Neil…it’s not the lack of understanding Wookie. You just aren’t liked because you try and pander to your Twitter followers by using a hashtag that brings in hundreds of thousands of people looking for info on Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and you turned it into a sermon on how you and science are right, and science-fiction/fantasy is wrong…that’s why you’re isolated, you windbag.
In @StarWars #TheForceAwakens, apparently Wookiees don’t age, or they age much slower than human actors do.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 21, 2015
Neil goes onto talk about parsecs, which he clearly doesn’t understand. But, if this sack of hot-air had bothered reading any information at all about the subject he is droning on about, then he would realize that Wookies do not in fact age at the same rate of humans.
Next: The Best New Characters from Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Neil deGrasse Tyson continues to try and remain relevant in an industry that has obviously passed him by. When you set out to make fun of a beloved franchise just to get clicks on your Twitter handle, then people tend to despise you more than usual. Get a life Neil deGrasse Tyson and go make fun of Christmas and how it’s scientifically impossible for deer to fly or for one man to deliver presents worldwide in one night. Jerkface.