15 dumb things battle droids said during The Clone Wars

Nothing says stupidity more than battle droids during the Clone Wars era. Battle droids have said things that they didn’t think would get them destroyed … and it didn’t always turn out well for them.

Nothing says humor more like the battle droids that functioned during The Clone Wars era. They were a lot of things, but stupid summed them up perfectly. From failing to follow orders correctly to getting shot down by Clone Troopers and Jedi, these idiots had it coming.

15. “What a terrible shot!” “Ah, well. It’s my programming.” (TCW S01E01: Ambush)

Our first line of stupid droid dialogue comes when the battle bots are told to fire upon Master Yoda’s escape pod. True to their programming, they attempt to shoot the Jedi Master’s vessel out of orbit. Seeing their plan hasn’t worked, one droid comments their shots are terrible while its companion just shrugs it off and mentions they have awful shooting in their programming.

14. “Ah… what does he look like?” (TCW S01E01: Ambush)

Most battle droids don’t survive long enough to see what their Jedi opponents look like. When Ventress tells the droids to kill Yoda, they ask what he looks like. Unimpressed, the assassin ignites her lightsabers, threatening to cut them down herself. She tells them Yoda is small and green and has a lightsaber. They tell her they aren’t worried because they can kill him.

13. “Look! A little green life form!” (TCW S01E01: Ambush)

Some battle droids are smarter than others. When a squad of the idiotic bots see Yoda bouncing through the trees, one states the obvious. Another calls the one who spoke, a bucket head, exclaiming the life form was the Jedi Ventress mentioned earlier.

12. “But I just got promoted!” (TCW S01E01: Ambush)

It’s hard to take a battle droid seriously when he’s just going to get cut down anyway. When Yoda takes out a squad of droids singlehandedly, he also defeats one who claims it just got a promotion before the Grand Master takes out its tank.

11. “We’re tracking three republic cruisers. What should we do?” (TCW: S01E02: Rising Malevolence)

In just the second episode of The Clone Wars, the Battle Droids who are piloting General Grievous’ flagship the Malevolence ask what they should they do about the three Republic Cruisers coming towards them. The complete fools should know what to do if they’re flying a ship as big as the Malevolence.

10. “Your circuits are loose. No one’s crazy enough to do that.” (TCW: S01E04: Destroy Malevolence)

When Padmé and 3PO get caught in a battle between the Republic and Dooku’s Separatists, the senator is forced to contact the Republic. Her Jedi husband, Anakin panics and runs into danger to rescue her. While he and Obi-Wan are looking for the missing senator and her droid companion, a couple of battle droids are walking through the halls. One comments someone has docked on the ship while its companion tells him he’s crazy because no one is stupid enough to dock on the ship.

Photo Credit: Star Wars: The Clone Wars/Cartoon Network, LucasFilm Image Acquired from Disney ABC Media Distribution

9. “That was impressive!” (TCW: S01E04: Destroy Malevolence)

When the enemy is escaping your boss’s evil clutches, it’s best not to say anything. However, one poor battle droid saw how impressive the enemy’s escape was and commented. That didn’t go down too well with General Grievous who got annoyed and knocked the droid down.

8. “I’ll go give him the good news.” (TCW: S01E04: Destroy Malevolence)

During the Clone Wars, battle droids were dispensable. They were constantly getting destroyed by Jedi who could easily cut them down to size. One unfortunate droid found itself facing the end of Anakin’s lightsaber when he and Padmé enter a control room.

7. “The navicomputer is heading us straight into the moon.” (TCW: S01E04: Destroy Malevolence)

Nothing says stupidity better than the battle droids programming the navicomputer to fly them into the moon. Grievous was far from happy and ordered the computer be fixed before the ship exploded. In reality, Anakin rigged the computer system to make the mystery weapon fly into the moon.

6. “Do we take prisoners?” (TCW: S01E05: Rookies)

When a few battle droids storm the Rishi Base, they go to gun down an unarmed clone trooper, but they hesitate. They ask whether they take prisoners before the clone grabs a gun and shoots at them.

5. “Isn’t it good if the base is destroyed?” (TCW: S01E05: Rookies)

When you’re under the command of General Grievous, you want to ensure you don’t screw up. If you do, he’ll call you all kinds of names. Not that it matters when you’re a droid when you’re just going to get struck down by blaster fire anyway.

4. “Ah… where were we supposed to go?” (TCW: S01E06: Downfall Of A Droid)

Asking dumb questions never got anyone anywhere. In the case of one battle droid, General Grievous became so annoyed with it asking questions, he just walked out of the room in a huff. The droid, not understanding why its master had left, thinks it’s now in charge.

3. “What happened to the shield?” (TCW Movie)

In The Clone Wars film, the droids played a role during the Battle of Christophsis where they try to keep the Jedi and clone forces at bay. When the Jedi forces are able to take out the enemy shield, one droid stupidly asks what happened the shield before it’s blown up.

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2. “Do I tell him they got away or what?” (TCW Movie)

When Ventress goes to get a report, a droid asks if he should report if the Jedi got away. Without a word of warning, the assassin force pushes the droid off the cliff. The droid is last heard yelling “Why?!” as it plummets to its demise.

1. “Surrender Jedi dogs!” (TCW Movie)

Battle droids sure are dumb! When a bunch of droids surround a small squad of clones, one orders the clones to surrender. The clone tells the droids they have them outnumbered when they clearly don’t. The lead droid becomes confused and starts counting the droids in the unit. This gives the clones enough time to launch their attack while the droids are distracted.

Conclusion

When you look at protocol droids like C-3PO, they’re not stupid and won’t turn on their masters. Battle droids were cheap for the Separatist movement to manufacture. They were brainless and had more chance of getting destroyed than getting a result.

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15 stupid things battle droids say

By C.J. Hawkings | Oct 13, 2018