Dream casting the Star Wars saga: Steven Seagal as Malakili
This is the final member of Team Jabba to appear on our list. Malakili isn’t named in Return of the Jedi, but he does have a backstory. He’s the guy who trained the Rancor in Jabba’s under-cellar, the one who ate Oola and died at Luke’s hands. This leads to the unexpected moment when Malakili, this imposing guy with a linebacker build and a wardrobe full of fetish gear, collapses into sobs over the death of his pet. It’s a funny moment, but also kinda sad. The guy lost his baby.
Also funny and sad: Steven Seagal, although that’s probably a little unfair. Seagal was a movie star in the ’80s and ’90s but has recently become the butt of jokes on shows like South Park, which satirized his fall from action stardom by depicting him as an older, out-of-shape guy who’s living in the past.
At the end of the day, Seagal is likely too successful to worry much about what some pop-culture pundits think of him, but he could have some fun satirizing the popular perception of himself by taking on the role of Malakili. He has the build for it (a muscular guy who’s gone soft around the edges), and it might get some of his critics to laugh with him rather than at him.
Next: Another Imperial bureaucrat