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Solo: A Star Wars Story: Lando Calrissian, Whiners and Criers and Pansexuals, Oh My!

By Jason Burke

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We delve deeper into the revelation that Lando Calrissian is, in fact, pansexual in Solo: A Star Wars Story.

I’m a Gen X’er. Why does that matter? Because, as someone who contributes here I’ve already been told I’m pushing propaganda for a leftist millennial machine. I’m a paid Disney shill and that you (whoever you are) know what I’m doing (whatever that is) — because I’m excited about Solo: A Star Wars Story and new content.

I must fit right in because our site as a whole is labeled as such and it’s entirely untrue. These accusations were hurled at me because I wrote an article defending The Last Jedi—because I liked it. That’s it. I stated a case and, in all honesty, if you don’t like it, great.

Kind of like the millennial, Gen X’ers have had the same insults lobbed in our direction: sullen, withdrawn, entitled. It’s always been this way—probably since the wheel was invented and the first cavemen grunted an indecipherable, “back in my day we dragged our stuff.” It’s just digitized and monetized by prior generations who never seem to have the gall to look in the mirror.

Again, why does any of this matter?  Well, we just found out that Lando Calrissian might be pansexual. The reason I use the word might is because it’s not explicitly stated. It’s the opinion of co-writer of Solo: A Star Wars Story, Jon Kasdan, who was asked this question.  Here’s the written excerpt from the interview by Bill Bradley in the Huffington Post article:

"So, given the opportunity to speak with father-and-son “Solo” co-writers Lawrence and Jonathan Kasdan, I asked them about Lando’s possible sexual fluidity. Is he pansexual? “I would say yes,” Jonathan Kasdan emphatically said.“There’s a fluidity to Donald and Billy Dee’s [portrayal of Lando’s] sexuality,” Kasdan continued. “I mean, I would have loved to have gotten a more explicitly LGBT character into this movie. I think it’s time, certainly, for that, and I love the fluidity ― sort of the spectrum of sexuality that Donald appeals to and that droids are a part of.”“He doesn’t make any hard and fast rules. I think it’s fun,” Kasdan said. “I don’t know where it will go.”"

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Does this mean that the Kasdan’s are working in a consortium on some type of leftist globalist Illuminati scheme? No, it was an expressed opinion to a question. And, why should we care either way?

It wouldn’t particularly be shocking to think that Lando Calrissian has gotten down with some alien types—which would make the man pansexual. We already know Star-Lord is—he’s laid down with Aaskvarians, for chrissakes!

Is this really news that in a galaxy with an infinite amount of planets and species, some of them wouldn’t mingle regardless of sex, age, creed or midi-chlorian count?

Does anyone care that Captain Kirk kissed Uhura in the episode, Plato’s Stepchildren?  That was in 1968.  It was the first interracial kiss on television, and now it’s a passing glimpse on Wikipedia and a soft shrug of the shoulders.

On the flip side, I’ve seen Star Wars shredded for not being LGBT-Q enough. That, this isn’t far enough—they should be pushing the boundaries. Although I’m with you and the fight for normalcy and acceptance, I’m not sure that this is Star Wars’ place.

After all, they are trying to sell toys and roll out hit film after hit film. Mickey Mouse is out for one thing; as much cash as it can get its big white mitts on. I believe it’s our job to support you if we believe this. It’s my job to teach my kids that a person’s orientation isn’t just okay, it’s normal.

Unfortunately, this brings us back to a word previously mentioned in this article and in many forums: entitlement. See, typing in a viciously hate-filled spew and calling someone entitled for liking something you don’t—is being entitled.

Fandom does not equate to ownership. And, once you think you own something, you feel entitled to have it your way. You can’t enjoy a film for what it is, whether it’s good or bad,  because of your set of expectations. You were entitled to have it your way.

Make no mistake; there are good entitlements. You’re entitled to an opinion. You are entitled not to like something. And, you’re certainly allowed to feel disappointed. However, bombing rotten tomato sites, putting people down and throwing together petitions (like the go-nowhere one to delete The Last Jedi—a film that earned $1.3 billion in theaters) is just the exact negative connotation associated with entitlement.

Next: Han-Love and how I stopped worrying about Ehrenreich as Solo

We live in strange, paranoid times, my friend. Not sure what’s next. If I asked Lando, he’d probably tell me, “You might want to buckle up, baby,” we’re going for a ride.

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