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‘Remake The Last Jedi’ is the problem with ‘Remake The Last Jedi’

By Jason Burke

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The biggest problem with “Remake The Last Jedi” is the people who want to remake the Last Jedi. Star Wars: The Last Jedi deserves better than this fate.

Remake The Last Jedi? 

Humanity was so close, wasn’t it? With all leaders meeting this week to discuss what they were going to do with world peace, nuclear disarmament and how to divvy up all the excess food in the world. It seems it was all right there within grasp until everyone on the planet realized one fatal error/disease/plight still exists and threatens our delicate grasp on this newfound Eden we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

That’s right; The Last Jedi still exists no matter how loud a particular minority of fandom screamed, typed or uploaded YouTube clips of shoddy quality. But, if you thought they were done, the fanboys didn’t vanish ala Luke Skywalker fading into the Ahch-to sun. Instead, they installed the nuclear option.

An account created last week on Twitter named Remake The Last Jedi made quite a splash Tuesday night when it posted:

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Remake The Last Jedi promises to use unnamed producers to cover the budget (supposedly, these brave producers have $200 million at their disposal) but is open to anyone who wants to pledge to right this wrong instead of wasting money on, you know, actual causes, saving animals or having plain pizza.

The campaign says through its website that it has raised somewhere north of $33 million.  However, it is a tough thing to substantiate as the donations they are soliciting are not regulated by usual crowdsourcing sites like Kickstarter or GoFundMe.

The stated goal of this shadowy group of storytellers: remake the film without the “pointless diversions” and “poor storytelling.”

Twitter fans and celebrities have been having a blast, such as Seth Rogan who tweeted:

It’s been a while since some of us brushed up on our legalese but wouldn’t this super-sleuthy professional group need to acquire the rights to Star Wars first? Maybe we’re not seeing what is truly going on here?

Maybe this is some nefarious move by Comcast–looking to put together a backdoor deal for Disney via The Last Jedi. I have a feeling it’s going to take a little more funding than the $65 billion offer they made for Fox that was easily swatted away like pesky gnats at a picnic when Mickey Mouse pulled out his checkbook.

Rian Johnson, to his credit, has been a good sport with a tweet that says it all:

https://twitter.com/rianjohnson/status/1009848399858843649

Naturally, this will come to nothing, but an easy softball for Twitter pokes but Star Wars hasn’t lacked in fans who were vocal in their anger towards the films. Look towards prequel era pinheads (ok, I complained pretty vocally during this time) who were upset with what they saw or the Ewok haters of the eighties as further proof.

Each fandom has its corner lurkers crying out because the comics did it. Differently, the novels were better, or they are just dissatisfied with life and blame a two-hour movie for all the wrongs they committed to this point.

But, Star Wars fans today are different–maybe social media has given everyone a megaphone and wire straight into there cerebellum but the Star Wars fan of today is…cruel.

Ultimately, though, it comes down to one thing I’ve spoken about in an article about Lando Calrissian and his pansexual exploits, entitlement.

Fans do have the right to feel disappointment or even dislike a franchise might’ve outgrown them. You can voice that displeasure in constructive ways or save your dollars in a silent vote against its direction.

But, there’s a strange duality at play when a fan screams about social justice warriors while making everything about it. It’s hypocritical to say you want your voice heard and then harass an actress on Instagram to the point you’ve taken away hers.

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It’s the same people who once chastised George Lucas as destroying their childhood without realizing he had to make it first.

Maybe instead of donating to things like Remake The Last Jedi, someone should pay to remake the lives of a specific group of people thirty-five and older or, at the very least, buy them a mirror.

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