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A Jar Jar Binks Star Wars stand-alone film needed now more than ever

By Neil Harrington

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Photo Credit: [Star Wars: The Phantom Menace] Lucasfilm

With the news of Star Wars origins films put on hold, for now, a Jar Jar Binks Star Wars stand-alone film is needed now more than ever.

Jar Jar Binks the Star Wars savior? 

The Star Wars fandom took a significant blow yesterday afternoon (from a certain point of view), with reports that Star Wars standalone films are put on hold — for now.

Those of you, like myself, wanting an Obi-Wan Kenobi movie, we’ll have to wait — and perhaps, it may never happen now. What’s depressing is that the Kenobi film was in pre-production and well on its way to a 2020 release. 

Meanwhile, a Boba Fett film had a director attached to it. And now? Not.

Even though a Fett adventures film would have been loads of fun, I understand pulling the plug on that particular project. But, putting the Obi-Wan movie on hold, perhaps never to be seen again is terrible news.

The one standalone film that everyone wanted is now in exile on Tatooine.

However, Yoda spoke of another who could save the Star Wars franchise and the standalone films. No, it’s not another  SKY-WALK-ER such as Leia, but the unlikeliest of all characters within a galaxy far, far away.

The one, the only; Jar Jar Binks. Mesa said you’d be surprised. That’s right. The bumbling Gungan who hails from the swamps of Ohta Gunga on Naboo could save the galaxy — of Star Wars standalone films.

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The Lucasfilm story group has so many options; it’s not even funny. Watching Jar Jar Binks emerging from the womb of his devasting mother, who looks on with great disappointment, would be an excellent place to start.

She disowns him, and Jar Jar Binks becomes an orphan at a ripe, young age. The story would gain traction, with a Han Solo-like fate, who both became orphans at a young age.

Much like Jabba the Hutt putting a bounty on Solo’s head that he can’t show his face on any uncharted system; Boss (Rugar) Nass banning Jar Jar Binks for flooding his palace would be must-see cinema and a nice parallel to Han Solo.

Jar Jar Binks would then embrace his inner Harrison Ford once again, becoming a fugitive, fleeing from certain death. The Gungan could become a bounty hunter, picking up odd jobs to stay alive. See, we don’t need a Boba Fett film after all!

We know the rest when Jar Jar Binks later encounters an annoyed Jedi Master in Qui Gon Jinn in the swamps of Naboo in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, the most widely accepted and beloved Star Wars film to date.

Or, we can pick up decades later, where Jar Jar Binks is homeless once again, sleeping in a cardboard box in the marketplaces of Naboo, becoming a literal clown. No, seriously, that’s what indeed becomes of the Gungan — read the Star Wars Aftermath: Empires End novel by Chuck Wendig.

I’m sure many of you can relate to Jar Jar Binks, becoming the Blacksheep of the family, with no real friends to speak of — so it’s a film that would speak to a significant portion of you reading this article. Life gets lonely in your mother’s basement, doesn’t it?

Jar Jar Binks would be a spark of hope for many of you looking for a newfound direction in life. I’m sure many of you have ruined other’s people’s lives as you did Kelly Marie Tran and other innocent victims, much like Jar Jar Binks did when he gave the Supreme Chancellor (Palpatine) emergency powers and keys to the galaxy.

He’s relatable to many of you, more than you genuinely realize.

Next: We discover a Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader secret

Help us Jar Jar Binks; you’re our only hope. Only you can save the Star Wars stand-alone franchise. You’re not the hero we want, but the one we need moving forward.

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